All my life, I've considered friendship to be a powerful and important relationship, but also a very selective one in my case, and the more the years go by, the more I've kept it to a minimum.
Our society has been built on this new virtual friendship, where friends are accumulated like coins on networks supposedly social. Remembering each other's birthdays through notifications rather than any real interest in each other. Following the adventures of some, the culinary tastes of others, the political reactions of a few, comfortably seated behind our screens, ALONE. And when we find ourselves in a life we call ‘IRL', sharing our travel experiences, anecdotes and political indignation, it's often to hear: "yes, I saw that on your Facebook page", "yes, I saw your post the other day", and this often brings this part of the conversation to an abrupt close, a way of hearing them say: "thank you, I've seen the main thing on your page, the rest doesn't interest me much".
And in perfect contrast, the imagination of our 'followers' when they watch our publications, imagining us riding a white dragon through fairytale landscapes, golden sword in hand, off to rescue a totally illusory princess...
Am I the only one who feels this way about our society, or do you also have the uneasy feeling that the more connected we are virtually, the less connected we are in the 'real' world?
In 2016, when I began my journey (which I'm still on today), I met Anna, an American young woman travelling with her camera slung over her shoulder like me. We were both solo travellers and shared a day exploring the backstreets of the magnificent city of Istanbul in the aftermath of the Putsch on 16 July 2016. As we shared our impressions of the trip, I was particularly touched by one remark.
Anna pointed out that often, when you meet a complete stranger and only spend a day or two with them, you have this interesting tendency to open up more than with your best friend, your childhood friend, your sister or your neighbour. Why is this? Is it because you have nothing to lose by sharing yourself? Is it because you know that even if the person judges you, you won't see them again? Or is it the desire to know the other person's reaction to subjects that we don't necessarily dare discuss with people close to us? These questions and observations led me to start a project called 'BFFAD: Best Friend For A Day', which involves simply photographing some of the people I come across during my travels and keeping an indelible record of them.
What's funny about this definition of life and this project is that some of the people I've met have become real friends, people you stay in touch with over the years. Sending each other a message from time to time, just to check in, to make sure that everything's OK.
One of the consequences of this realisation is that today I've also become much more selective about the people I keep in my circle of friends. I'm no longer at all afraid of breaking off a pseudo-friendship that has become toxic or simply and totally useless. Do we really need hundreds of friends to be in tune with ourselves? How many friends do we need to keep our balance? How many friends do we need to look after them properly, to share them well, to guarantee a deep connection? Isn't it difficult to look after hundreds of friends, when a more limited number allows us to be more intimate? What do you think? What is YOUR definition of friendship?
I wish you a wonderful day, and if you're curious about the identity of these "best friends for a day", here's the instagram link.
See you soon!
